The following was taken from a soliloquy by Polonius in Act I, Scene 3 of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Polonius is giving advice to his son Laertes before Laertes heads back to school.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Believe me, I have had many people borrow money from me, and none of them ever paid it back, including friends and family. My wife and I finally agreed to never lend money again. Very recently, one of those con men who move from one desperate, unfortunate woman to another, using up all their money (these men never produce anything) before discarding them and “trading them in” for another, richer, more desperate specimen, tried to borrow money from me. They’re always fishing for a richer woman to con. A few questions revealed what I suspected:

This parasite, this leech, was going around borrowing money from everyone in his church, and he had no way of repaying these loans. He admitted that he was “between a rock and a hard place” because some of these people loaned him money they had earmarked for their taxes and mortgages, and this freeloading bloodsucker had no way to generate any income to repay them!

Women who “fall in love” read LUST are often the victims of these men, since they’re “lonely” and “alone” and have money or real estate that the con men will take from them in a hurry. Many older men fall victim to the women they import from turd world countries and Russia, and they usually end up manipulated, heart broken and penniless.

Also, when you give someone money to help them in a difficult situation, will that financial injection solve their problem or simply prolong their situation? In other words, is it just helping them to survive longer instead of overcome their problem? Because, if that is the case, they will need regular money from you to stay afloat, and as soon as you stop giving, you will no longer be seen as their Rescuer but rather as their Persecutor!

Bottom line, friends, don’t lend money to people. Give it without expecting anything in return, if you want to, but lending money destroys friendship and relationships as well as your financial wellbeing, reputation and security. Learn to say, “NO.” If a man is courting you, he should be able to provide for you like a real man in order to qualify to be considered as a prospective husband. Accepting a “live in lover” who has no intention of marrying you while you provide him with money is like renting a gigolo (male prostitute). Do you really have such low self respect? Remember, a gentleman makes commitments, and a loser makes promises which he doesn’t keep.

It’s easy to avoid these borrowers when you carefully select those with whom you associate. Mix with good people who take responsibility for their lives and their finances, who live frugally, and who share your values, and you’re far less likely to have losers trying to borrow money, blaming you for their own bad choices, or begging you to bail them out of their own (usually repeated) bad decisions. Learn from my mistakes: neither a lender nor a borrower be.

Robin Elliott   LeverageAdvantage.com