Today I talked with a fellow ex-South African lady who told me the all too familiar story of her daughter and son-in-law who have been putting off immigrating from that rapidly disintegrating country for years because of his aged parents. Unfortunately, I know people who waited until their aged parents died, and then found they could no longer get into Canada. Too late for tears. Their entire future lay in ruins at their feet. Their small children are now living in life threatening danger daily.
Some of us build walls in our minds that prevent us from reaching our goals, walls that mix our priorities up, walls based on fear and inappropriate emotions. Some, of course, are real barriers, but many are not.
The “comfort wall” (or the “complacency wall”) is the most dangerous – we easily get locked into our comfort zones and seek evidence to justify staying there. There is, however, seldom any personal or spiritual growth within that suffocating place. The “financial wall” of debt and fear is usually the greatest barrier to change. People would rather take a job they hate and that pays too little, thereby guaranteeing that they will sink even deeper into debt, than venturing into a new opportunity that can provide financial freedom.
The “grandchildren wall,” similar to the “aged parents wall,” can be the result of confusing between priorities; you are not your grandchildrens’ parent. They will grow up and often reject or ignore you in your dotage when you need help. Take responsibility for yourself and your spouse and children first. While we have certain responsibilities, it is important to remember our priorities and values.
The “health wall” can be deceiving, too. I have heard of peoples’ health actually improving when they try new things, take chances, and do the unusual, since their demeanor improves and they focus less on their problems and more on possibilities.
The “lack of self-confidence wall,” can be destroyed with the demolition ball (wrecking ball) of trust and faith and blown to pieces with the dynamite of courageous action. It can magically disappear when we focus on what can work out well as opposed to what can go wrong. Do what you fear and you remove that fear and doubt – overcome it.
Talk to your mentors and successful friends to help you find perspective and remain true to your core values. When you paint yourself into a mental corner, boldly walk out across the wet paint; it’s all in your head.
Robin Elliott LeverageAdvantage.com